Our lives consist of a series of unconscious behaviors and habits that we perform daily, and these habits grow more and more powerful each time we repeat them. Learn how to create healthy new positive habits and overpower old bad habits with these simple life-changing tips!
When we focus on creating new positive habits and routines in place of old negative ones we can literally change our lives.
Thoughts and emotional patterns can become habits as easily as the actions that go with them, and, they work to strengthen each other.
Even though many of our daily choices may seem like well thought out conscious decisions, they are actually unconscious routines we complete out of habit.
The difference between the person that you are today, and the person you want to be, is a product of your unconscious habits.
Understanding how habits are formed is the first step toward both creating new positive habits and replacing negative habits with positive ones.
Neurons that fire together wire together and become stronger and stronger over time. The old impulse reactions will still be there, but they will weaken and become less triggered.
This change can be hard-won depending on how deeply ingrained the habit is, but behavior modification is always possible.
In it, Duhig explains how habits emerge to help the brain conserve energy while executing mundane tasks and basic behaviors. When a chunk of habits, or, a routine starts, the brain shuts down in order to conserve mental energy.
The brain spends a lot of effort at the beginning of a task looking for a clue about which pattern, routine, or habit, it can use.
Once triggered a habitual behavior known as a routine takes over until a reward appears. The brain then comes back online once the routine or habit is complete.
The Habit Loop
Habits consist of a Cue, a behavior or routine, and a reward. Charles Duhig explains it as a three-step process that he calls the habit loop:
First, there is a cue, a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there is the routine, which can be physical or mental or emotional. Finally there is a reward which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future. Over time, this loop–cue, routine, reward: cue, routine, reward–becomes more and more automatic. The cue and reward become intertwined until a powerful sense of anticipation and craving emerges. Eventually… A habit is born. (Kindle Loc 427)
What’s important to remember is that the cue and the reward need to be linked in order to create the neurological cravings that power the habit or routine.
Most of the time these cravings emerge so gradually that we don’t even notice that they exist, or, the subconscious power that they have over our daily choices.
Because we often don’t notice these habit loops as they grow, we are blind to our ability to control them. Once understood, old habit triggers can be identified and used to create new habits, or, replace old ones.
In other words, becoming mindful of our own personal habits is the first step in the creation of positive habits.
When we can observe the cues and rewards present in our own habitual patterns and behaviors we can begin to change negative routines, or habits, into positive ones.
For example, If you create the habit of having a drink every day after work by going to the fridge to grab a beer each day when you arrive home. This habit, will then, create thought patterns, emotions, and cravings that surround the physical act of having a drink.
As it begins it may just be a physical action performed out of boredom. Soon, however, you will feel compelled to have this drink every day after work. It will no longer be optional. This is how addictions form.
The brain will become addicted to the habit regardless of its repercussions. Addictive substances, of course, have a lot of added influence because of their addictive nature.
They cause an even stronger craving and deliver an even stronger reward than other habits, and, this works to further strengthen the habit loop.
How to Create New Habits (and Overpower Old Habits)
New habits are created by putting together a cue, a routine, and a reward to create a new habit:
First, figure out a simple and obvious cue to use as a trigger to execute the habit or routine.
Then, come up with a satisfying reward that will motivate you to complete the routine.
Next, execute the habit or routine.
Finally, reward yourself!
Duhig explains a cue as something simple and well defined like when you get up in the morning, after you brush your teeth, when your daily alarm goes off, when you return home from work, etc.
This makes the anchor points in your daily routine or rhythm a fantastic time to cue the execution of a new habit or routine.
However, studies have shown that a cue and a reward are not enough. The brain must begin to expect or crave the reward. Craving the reward is what ultimately powers the habit loop.
In other words, a habit will become automatic when the cue triggers both a routine and a craving for the reward to come. This is why addictive substances create strong habits!
This means that once a new behavior is in place, craving must be cultivated for the reward to power the habit, or it will not have any ability to overpower old patterns.
Reward yourself after completing the new habit daily, or, after completing the new habit for a specified amount of time.
If you would like to create the habit of going for a daily walk in order to lose weight, eating a cookie after your walk as your reward wouldn’t be the best choice.
A better choice might be a cup of coffee with a friend, or, a new outfit after you’ve been walking every day for a month.
Other rewards might be allowing yourself some free time to work on a favorite hobby or some time to read or watch a favorite show. Whatever you choose, it must be something that creates desire and anticipation, otherwise, it will not work as a reward.
You gotta want the reward… or it won’t work.
Another technique that can work as a reward is to check off the new habit each day that you complete it. There is nothing more motivating than seeing another big red checkmark for honoring your commitment to yourself.
Conversely, the lack of seeing a red checkmark can work to motivate you to get you back on track. Use your calendar or planner, or put a sheet on your fridge to track your progress. We have even created a free habit tracking printable that you can use!
Charles Duhig, claims that the golden rule of habit change is that “You can not get rid of a negative habit, but you can change it.” In order to change a habit, you must keep the old cue and deliver the old reward, while changing the behavior or routine.
Duhig explains, “That’s the rule: If you use the same cue, and provide the same reward, you can shift the routine and change the habit. Almost any behavior can be transformed if the cue and reward stay the same.” (Kindle Loc 1053)
Using the example of the habit of going to the fridge to get a beer every day after work… Let us assume that the reward is the relief of letting the day go.
In order to change this habit, you could choose to put on a pair of running shoes and head out the door instead. I don’t know about you, but I find that there is nothing better than a nice walk, or, a quick run to help me shake off the day.
When I was in graduate school studying psychology I learned that habits become established after 21 days of repeating them. Since then, I have come up with my 3-21-28 rule of habit creation.
This rule helped me to see the forest through the trees when I was struggling to create positive habits in my life. I noticed that after about 3 days of repeating a new behavior the new positive habit was beginning to form.
In other words, I found the new habit much easier to complete once 3 days had passed. It was nowhere near automatic, but repeating the behavior was no longer a daily struggle.
After 21 days the new behavior would become firmly established, and at 28 days I could forget it. The new positive habit I created had become automatic.
3–Set it, 21–Establish it, 28–Live it.
Research today is showing that there can be a lot of variation among individuals with regard to habit formation. However, I have a lot of confidence in my 3-21-28 rule.
Completing day three has now become a reward that I crave, and this has made creating new habits even easier for me. I hope that it works the same for you!
I have proven to myself that if I can complete a new habit for 3 days, I can do it for 28. And if I can do 28, the new behavior pattern will become a habit for as long as I want it to be.
Once I complete 3 days I start to believe… and for me, belief is 99% of the journey!
Only choose one habit at a time to add, change, or modify. Don’t try to create another new habit until the first is automatic, or you may become overwhelmed and give up.
Creating new positive habits takes time, effort, and a whole lot of grace. Take it easy and do your best to stay positive.
Before you know it… 28 days will have passed and you can consider adding a new positive habit.
Congratulations, your well on your way to reaching your highest potential… One habit, or goal, at a time.
Nell has over 25 years of experience working with children as a caregiver, educator, and coach, and is the founder of Rhythms of Play. She believes in the power of the imagination, learning through play, making this world a greener place to live, and getting outside in all seasons! Learn more...
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